I lack follow through

You know when you are doing laundry and the last load stays in the drier for DAYS before it ever makes it out to get folded? You "fluff" the laundry everyday, at least once a day, and still it never makes it out until next week's load from the washer needs to go in. This is how I would describe my life. I plan and plan and plan and sometimes I get started, but I very rarely finish things. I like to claim that I get bored before I finish, but really I just lack follow through.

Examples:

-I started this blog before the birth of my first son...in 2008. I have a handful of meaningless posts and still claim that I will get better.

- I have fabric and a pattern in hand for a really cute skirt I would like to make, but every time I look at it and think that I should start it I find something else I need to do.

-I got a BS in Psychology knowing the only thing I could really do with it is go on to grad school and yet, 5 years later, I still have a BS.

-I planned out pages for a quiet book for Bentley that I have yet to start.

-I have two cupcake cookbooks that I would eventually love to make every recipe from. I have made 2. I have had them for 2 years.

There are so many things I would like to say I've done in my life and yet I do nothing about it. I want to be inspirational. I want people to look at me and say, "Wow! I want to grow up to be like her someday." I used to do things with my life and now I'm a mom. And don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. But I want to be Erica again. I used to act, and play music, and sing, and write, and lose weight. Now I struggle to find time to do anything for myself. And when I do find the time, I also find an excuse to do nothing. Or play Minesweeper.

I have a friend right now who is in the process of trying to get published. (BTW, you should totally check her out here.) I have an idea for a book, but it has yet to amount to anything other than ideas in the shower. I have another friend who has run multiple marathons. I am currently training for a half-marathon and am starting to freak out that I may be in WAY over my head. I have a friend at the gym who has lost 118 pounds and kept it off. I lost 20 in college and then gained it back and then some after getting married. Then I lost 35 pounds and got pregnant and gained 60. I am still 50 pounds away from my goal and my baby is 4 months old (ugh). I have so many friends who have done so many things. I look at their amazing photographs and items of clothing they have made or books they have written or amazing cakes they have made etc. etc......And I often just sit and wonder what I have to show for my 26 years of life.

I have an amazing husband and two of the cutest kids in the world, but those are gifts given to me by my Father in Heaven. I didn't really have a ton to do with that. I, with my fabulous BS is Psychology, work at the Kid's Club in a gym. I don't make blankets, I don't knit, I don't do my hair, I feel fat in all my clothing and I generally feel blah about who I am. I need that kick in the pants to be something great. I make lists all the time of things I want to change and who I want to be and what I want to do. Rarely does it amount to anything but that, though. It's just a list. An empty enumeration of things I will probably never do anything with or about. I meet these fabulous people, who probably think they are nothing special, who I would love to be compared to. One day I'd like others to want to be compared to me. I want to be something special. Special because of who I am, not just how cute my kids are. I need to find a special purpose that is mine, selfishly and solely mine. I love my family, but I need this for me. I need to be good at something again and feel important because of who I am and what I do. I need to add "Erica" back to my list of titles.

Serious Catch Up

Well, since it has been forever since I've posted (just get used to it people) and all three of my boys are still asleep (late night), I figured I'd trying and give some sort of recap to the last 6 or so months of our lives.

So, I guess the biggest event was the birth of our second son. On March 19, 2011, we welcomed Cavander Elijah Farnsworth into our lives. (His name is pronounced like lavender, just fyi.) I had pretty much the easiest labor and delivery anyone could ever ask for. My pregnancy was a little different story. A few months before I was due, I separated my pubic bone. This made it severely painful to roll over, get up or down off the floor and get out of bed. Now add a very snuggly two-year-old to this mix and I was fairly miserable for the last months of my pregnancy. I was totally done being pregnant, and since my mom and sister were coming in from out-of-state, the doc and I decided to induce me on my due date (the 19th). Plus, my birthday is March 20, and I really did not want to be pregnant on my birthday. My doc was on call on that day, which was a Saturday, so he pulled some strings to get me in that day. We were scheduled for 7:00am, but I got a phone call to come in later at 8:00am. No biggie. I get there and there still aren't any rooms available, so they start my drip in triage. I am currently having zero contractions, but I am dilated 3cm. The contractions begin shortly after I'm started and we're off. They finally get a room ready for me and I wander down the hall and hop in my bed. Let me tell you one thing, though...There is absolutely nothing on TV on Saturday mornings. We ended up watching a the Food Network most of the morning. Whatever.

My contractions came on steadily, but I was handling them fine. The doc came in and broke my water a couple of hours after getting started. Everything is looking fine. They keep asking me to roll over because baby's heart rate was dropping. Horrible pain every time (refer to separated pubic bone). However, the nurse said I was one of her strangest L&D patients because I was at a 6 and pretty well into labor before she could ever tell by my reactions that I was having a contraction. I just get through it easily, I guess.

So it's about 2:30 or so and I'm feeling the pain a bit and I ask the doc to check me and see if I'm still making good progress. If I am then I'll continue with nothing. If I'm not, then I wanted something to ease the pain. I'm at a 7. Not much progress. So he gets me a small dose of something, puts it in the IV and I feel no change. He adds another small dose and I can talk through my contractions again. My friend Leannda then shows up and I get to chat with her since I'm not in as much pain. The nurse comes in totally wondering why I am still awake, because the meds should have knocked me out. Oh well. Leannda leaves about 3:10 or so and I feel an urgent need to push. Doc gets the bed ready and doesn't even check me. He lets me start pushing and realizes I'm not fully effaced and baby is facing head-up. However, since I have THE most AMAZING doctor ever on the face of the planet, in three pushes he is able to push my cervix out of the way and turn baby. In one final push, I get that baby out and we find out his hand has been up by his face this entire time, which had caused his heart rate to drop (and apparently his ear to flatten...don't worry, it fixed itself). Doc cleans him off and hands him to me. The nursery team is busy so I got to hold my baby, sing to him and love on him before anyone else needed to take him. He was beautiful.

We told the doctor we were naming him Cavander and he decided his nickname should be "Caveman". He's funny. The nursery team finally comes in to check him and let us know he's got the longest feet they had seen all day. He was 7lbs 13 oz (exactly what I predicted) and 21 1/4 inches long (I guess 1/4 in longer). I was able to nurse within an hour and a half of him being born and I was able to order food for myself before that. Happy day. They didn't have a room upstairs for me yet, so we all got to hang out in my L&D room undisturbed for a couple hours.

When they finally moved me up I got yelled at by my unit nurse because I got up to go to the bathroom unassisted. Whatever, I didn't have an epidural so I could walk just fine. I felt better after having the baby than I did pregnant. No more pressure on my pubic bone. And I didn't tear, so I was good. Whatever. I only stayed at the hospital until they could check us both out the next morning and I BOOKED IT! I was so done. Our first night home was fabulous. Five hours between feeds and right back to sleep after. We then discovered Cav had jaundice so we got the biliblanket (again) and put him on a two-hour feeding schedule. But it all worked out and now he sleeps 9-10 hours every night, eats, and goes back to sleep for another 3 hours. I love it. He's a dang cute kid and has an AWESOME older brother! Bentley immediately adjusted so well and loves to help take care of his "brudder". Love it!

Now Cav is three months old (tomorrow) and smiles, laughs, talks up a storm, and pulls his legs up in preparation to roll over. He has gotten better with baths and diaper changes. He prefers to fall asleep on his own (totally now how Bentley was and so weird to me). He does get over-stimulated easily, which can be hard when it's noisy in the house. He's growing like a weed and we just love every minute of him in our lives. Bentley recognizes all of his letters by sight. He counts to eleven, skips the number four, and goes back to seven and up to eleven again. Not sure why. He points out a church or the Temple every time we drive by. He makes a gun with his fingers and shots at everything (his father's son). He could live outside all day long, especially if there is water involved and already has a better tan than I do. Unfortunately, he is into EVERYTHING, likes to say "no", and can't sit still for a minute. I love the kid, though. Even when he makes me crazy. I wouldn't trade my boys for anything in the world.

Spence is off school for the summer and working with his brother-in-law doing landscaping. I go back to work next month and am currently training to run a half-marathon in October. I've got a lot of work to do, but having this goal to focus on has made the whole past-preg weight loss thing a little easier. I gained waaaaay too much weight with this pregnancy and have a lot of work to do, but I'm getting there.

Anyway, my life revolves around my boys and that's all there is to it. Love 'em.

Happy Day!!!

It's about dang time!

So, for those of you who know anything about Bentley, you know that he needs two things to fall asleep: A good snuggle from Mom and a pacifier. I always thought that I would be the mom whose child would never have a pacifier, but things never quite work out the way you plan. And with all the moves and being sick and whatnot, there just never seemed to be a good time to take it away. Well...Last Saturday at work, I decided to be nice and let Bentley have his pacifier a few times, even though we were down to only at bedtime or nap time. He had only gotten about 8 hours of sleep and was having a really rough time at work. Well then he decided he needed to have it all the time again. And he would throw huge fits when I said no. So I decided I was done. I cut the tip off of one on Tuesday and he has since hated it. He still will ask for it, but I tell him it's broken and show it to him, and he then tells me to put it away. The first few days were rough-ish (not as bad as I thought they would be), but he would only nap in the car. I personally did not plan on driving around for twenty minutes every afternoon just to get my two-year-old to fall asleep. So naps have been rough. BUT....on Wednesday night, his birthday, Bentley fell asleep in his own bed with no pacifier, no crying, no snuggling, nothing!! It was AWESOME!!!! We started making him go down without any snuggles a few weeks ago and he did pretty well with that, but I was totally shocked at how quickly he picked up on going to sleep without a pacifier. Today, however, was the first time he took a nap without needing to drive around.

I love this boy. He is growing more and more everyday. As am I. It's truly amazing how much you learn as a mother. Even if you are stubborn and take forever to actually do anything with it. Oh well, I still love every day of it!!

Oh, and in other baby news....This child moves around so dang much. And apparently he lives on my bladder (Bentley lived in my rib cage). Yay!.....NOT! That's really about it, though. This has been a pretty low key pregnancy (fingers crossed it stays that way). I'm finally started to show, though, thanks to turkey, rolls and pie. Mmmmm....I love pie!

Happy Day!

Hey Look, I'm Updating!

Well, I figure it has not been almost a year since I last posted on my blog, so I've got some catching up to do. That pretty much isn't going to happen completely, but I can at least give you some sort of update as to what is going on in the lives of the Farnsworth family.

So, as an update to my last update...We finally lost our house and are now back home with Spencer's parents. It is actually working out really great for us. They are awesome and Bentley LOVES them. It's giving us an opportunity to pay off some debt and get our little family somewhat settled. Spencer is finishing up the season of mowing with his brother-in-law and is nearly halfway through his second year of school. This semester has been pretty stressful for him, but he's doing great and I'm so dang proud of him. I'm back at Gold's Gym after a short stint working with the Idaho National Guard Family Programs.

Bentley is AMAZING!!! We sure do love him. He's getting ready to turn two in a few weeks and is the smartest stinking kid ever. His nursery teacher at Church said he should be the one teaching :) He can count to fourteen on his own and will actually count items instead of just rattling off the numbers. He knows his shapes, some letters, the colors brown and blue (everything else is green), and how to follow directions--when he's in the mood to obey. He says "Please", "Thank you", "No way, thank you" (instead of just "no thank you"), and "You're welcome". He says new things everyday and surprises the heck out of me every time. And he speaks clearly, which is FABULOUS! He has no interest in potty training and loves to watch movies, but he's awesome and we love him.

And the last item of business for the day....

We are expecting a baby boy come March. I'm due the day before my birthday, March 19, and am feeling pretty well. I went to the Doctor today and everything is going perfectly. We were totally surprised to be having a boy since everyone, included us, all thought it was a girl so we have no idea for names, but we are still excited and I think it will be fun for Bentley to have another boy to play with since he is such a BOY! He loves cars, trucks, buses, airplanes, trains, explosions, dirt...all that boy stuff. We are excited to meet this little man and see how much he turns out to be like his brother! As far as belly pictures, since that always seems to be the next question....I'm not showing yet, so you're not getting any. I push sideways and back before I push out so I look like I gained about 15 pounds (which unfortunately I have), but I don't look pregnant at all. Sorry.

That's about it for us, though. Who knows, maybe I'll make a habit out of posting more often.

Probably not, though.

Happy day!!!!

Military/House Update

So I have a lot of updates in the works here. Give me some time and I'll post them for you. I just put the pictures on the computer (by myself, thank you very much) so I'll get them going on here soon (fingers crossed).

I just thought I would give everyone a quick update on our house and Spencer's Military situation.

I left to go to my parent's house at the end of September with Bentley. We had a showing on our house the day before I left and apparently the woman put an offer on the table. After about four days and $17 later of sending out faxes, we got all the necessary paperwork in to get the sale finalized. We were set to close November 15, so we had a lot of stuff to get ready. The offer was only $2000 less than asking price, so we all thought it was a done deal. WRONG-O!!!! The bank countered the offer by nearly $20,000 so the buyer backed down. Duh! We were back to square one. The bank realized they had pretty much shot themselves in the foot by doing that so they told us to increase our asking price by $3000 and we could put it back on the market. Well, there hasn't been a whole lot of activity since then so we ended up dropping it back down to our original price and we're going from there. It's kind of nice to be in our home still for the holidays, though.

As for Spencer's Military career...it's a no go. For those of you who don't already know this. Spencer had a mild heart issue when he was younger. This caused him to come home from his mission early to have a procedure done to basicall "zap" the extra electrical connection he had that caused half of his heart to race while the other half beat like normal. He is completely fine now and we have had no issues with it since. So, after five months, they finally agreed to give us what we want and have Spencer see a cardiologist to get the all clear. And that's exactly what happened. The doctor said he saw no issues with Spencer joining. However, the National Guard Board felt differently and denied Spencer. We were super bumbed because of all of the opportunities this would provide for our future, but hey, we'll survive. And now Spence is just concentrating more and more on school. He changed his major to be a Gym Teacher!! I love it!!! He eventually wanted to be in administration, so this is perfect for him. He gets to go to school in his PJs and run around everyday.

Oh, and a side note for me....I have an interview on Monday for a promotion at work. I'm pretty stoked. I'll keep you all posted. It's for the Lead, which is basically the assistant to the director for our location. YAY!!!!

Have a happy day!!!!

I LOVE THIS BOY!!!!

Update

So Spencer and I have been keeping things kind of "hush, hush" in our lives lately. We just figured there was no reason to share information about things that might not end up working out. Well, now that things are alittle more on the "for sure" side, I figured I would give you all an update into what was happening in our lives. Beware: this post will be fairly random and all over the place.

Within the last two weeks Bentley has finally cut his first two teeth. Within days of each other both of his bottom teeth poked through. It has been kind of nice to not have to worry about a teething baby until now (seeing as he's almost ten months old). But the severe diaper rash, snotty nose, and chewing on everything kind of gave me the idea that we were in for some teeth pretty soon. Now that they're finally through things are a little more at ease in our lives. He's still the cutest stinkin' baby ever!!! I can't tell you what a blessing he is in our lives. He still doesn't "speak" but he has a whole lot to say. He's always making some sort of noise and he usually has some sort of facial expression to go with it! He's too funny. And he makes this evil laugh when he's playing with toys, too. It's pretty funny. I'm still working on a video of that. He's still crawling all over the place and pulling himself up on everything. He knows how to squat but is still reluctant to let go of things and stand on his own. Oh, and he figured out how to open the cabinets (drive me nuts!!!) and pull out anything he can find.

Next Wednesday, Bentley and I will be venturing into the air for the first time together. We are both really bummed that Daddy isn't coming, but he's got school and work, so we'll have to survive. We're flying out to the Lou to see my family. My mom hasn't seen Bentley since she was here for his birth and my dad has never met him so we're pretty excited to go spend a week with Nana Boop and Grandpa Charlie. And we also get to go to a Cards game while we're there!!! I haven't been to one in the new stadium yet and Bentley, of course, has never been to one. So we're pretty excited about that!

Last Saturday, Spencer and I officially put our house on the market for short sale. We're so upside down on our loan right now and, due to retarded bosses and the dumb economy, (and poor choices made previously in our lives) we can't afford our home anymore. So we're selling it. We have a really awesome agent and are really excited to get out of here. The sad thing, though, is that our house is currently on the market for $50,000 less than what we bought it for. Sad to realize how much the market has gone down, but good for whoever wants to buy our house, though, I guess. So if anyone knows of anyone in the Boise area who needs a good starter home in an awesome neighborhood, let me know!

Earlier this month I started working part-time again. I work in the Kid's Club at Gold's Gym. It's nice because I can bring Bentley with me and I get a free membership. I've really been struggling with wanting to lose the weight I gained after marriage and a baby so it's nice to be in that environment and be able to work out in a good facility for free. Bentley loves to be around all the toys and the other kids and everyone there comments on how great of a baby he is. Which is so true, he's just so agreeable. I love it!

And now on to the biggest news of all. Oh, but before that, just fyi, Spencer start school last month and is doing great and I am so proud of him!! He's got class on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights and six Friday nights throughout the semester. He's kind of stressed sometimes with full-time work and full-time school, but he's able to get everything done and still be happy at home. Now, back to that news. Spencer has been trying to figure out a way that he can better provide for our family lately and has been going back to the same idea over and over. So we did a little more research into it and it turns out that it really is a great plan for our family (if things work out exactly as we want them to). Right now, at this very moment, Spencer is in the middle of a physical for the military. He is going to be joining the Idaho National Guard. Because of his heart issue that he had when he was younger, we've been struggling to get things going as quickly as we would like them to, but things are actually heading in a much better direction now because of that. If he passes his physical today, he will either do so with a medical waiver or without. We are hoping that he does so without. If he gets a medical waiver then he has to go to Basic Training before December 1, which would mean he might miss Bentley's birthday and would have to leave school early. If he doesn't get a medical waiver, he can go anytime within 12 months of his signing date. After passing this physical, however, he still has another test he needs to take because of the job he wants to do. Spencer wants to go into communications and learn Arabic (most likely) which means he has to take a test to determine how well he can learn foreign languages. Once he passes that test, he's good to go for the job he wants. Which means some pretty big changes in our lives here pretty soon.

If all works out like we want it to, Spencer would finish out this semester of school, ship to Basic in January, get home around March and shortly thereafter, we would all move to Monterey, California for at least a year and a half. That's where Spencer would be learning his language. Bentley and I would pretty much just live on the beach!!! After that, Spencer would go to his advanced training while Bentley and I come back to Boise. When all is said and done, Spencer's training would take a few years, but he would finish with nearly an Associates Degree in Arabic Studies and enough qualifications to work for any government or private agency making a lot more money than he would as a high school history teacher. Also, with this particular job, if Spencer ever has to go overseas, he in the safest place anyone could ever be. His job is so important that he would be protected far more than most. So, we're actually really excited about this and hope all works out like we want it.

So that's what's going on in the lives of the Farnsworth family. Sorry to keep everyone in the dark for so long. But any prayers we can get from anyone would be much appreciated!!!!

And of course...here's a picture for your viewing pleasure.

Have a happy day!!!!

Here you go....

So I've been told lately that I need to update my blog and I keep thinking that there's nothing really to say except more about Bentley and what he's been up to. I have videos and pictures that are still on the camera and need to be put on the computer but I'm just too lazy to do that right now. And Bentley has been such a horrible napper lately that I'm struggling to find time to blog. So here's an entry...as short as it may be.

An update on Big B: He's crawling now. Officially. He's been army crawling for about three weeks now and Sunday he finally got up on his hands and knees and has been moving around that way. Which apparently is so much easier for him because now he's exploring new places in the house, including the kitchen and the bathroom. He's obsessed with getting to Lola's food bowl, so that has been living on the counter unless he's asleep. Poor Lola. Oh, and he's been chasing her around and trying to get to her toys, which is disgusting. He pulled himself up to standing on the couch today. I didn't really even notice until he fell backwards and I had to catch his so he didn't hit his head on one of his toys. He's been in to everything lately. He'll find any paper product he can to just rip apart and put in his mounth. He tries to chew on shoes, remotes, cell phones, my hair...anything. He got himself stuck in the corner the other day behind the couch trying to find something to chew on. At least he still has no teeth, though, so I don't have to worry about teeth marks on everything. He's been exploring more and more foods lately and loves to eat bananas like the big kids, just taking pieces instead of eating it smashed with a spoon. He's getting more and more personality everyday and loves to babble...although he's yet to say anything significant and he refuses to immitate. Spencer says he's just like his mother and will learn to do things when he feels like it and without help from anyone else.

Bentley's been to the pool a few times this summer and loves the water. He kicks and splashes and eventually falls asleep in the pool. It's too cute. He has also taken a few roadtrips in the past few months and has done really well. We try to leave after lunch so he can just have a bottle in the car and then eat when we get there. It has worked fairly well, although he gets really bored and eventually screams himself to sleep. OH, and he's learned how to wistle. I know, I know....but seriously. He sticks his tounge out and curls it, purses his lips around it and blows and it wistles. CRAZY!!!

Anyway, Spencer and I are doing okay. He starts school at BSU in the fall and I'm working on a few things on my end (I'll update if anything works out). But for now, I'm going to take a shower since Bentley is still napping. Have a happy day!!!!